The Suffering Is In The Decision

RETURN · RECLAIM · RISE

RETURN · ISSUE No. 01

There is an incredible, internal shift that occurs when you decide something for yourself. I don’t mean when you think something might be a good idea or you think, “I’ll give it a try,” or “Let’s see how it goes.” I mean, when you truly DECIDE. Do you know that feeling? When you’ve said “That’s it!” “I’m doing it!” Or “Enough, never again.”

There is no suffering on the other side of decision. The suffering is in the decision making process. It’s like standing on the edge of the high dive when you’re scared of heights (totally me). To jump or not to jump. I want to but I’m scared. I know I can do it and rationally I know I’ll be fine (probably) and all my friends are already in the pool after their jumps, smiling and cheering me on so I know it’s fun and still…the suffering. It’s so irritating. Just freaking jump already!! AHHHHH!

And then maybe you climb back down the ladder. Defeated. Feeling like a failure. A total wimp diggity dog. Fast forward to when you actually decide to go for it. You march up the ladder, say to yourself “You’ve got this,” and then run to the end and take a flying leap. After, the combination of relief and adrenaline rushing through your body is exhilarating.

That is what deciding feels like. Not the trying-on, not the maybe, not the someday. The leap. And here is the part nobody tells you: the leap is the return. Every time you truly decide, you come back to a version of yourself who was always in there, waiting for you to stop negotiating and just go.

My mind and heart are open and ready to think big. That’s the mindset I choose to live inside of when I’m standing on the edge of something. Because thinking big isn’t reckless. It’s a decision to stop shrinking. It’s a decision to believe that the greatest life you’ve ever imagined might be just one mindset shift away.

My mind and heart are open and ready to think big.

So here is my invitation to you. Stop suffering in the middle of the decision. Stop climbing back down the ladder. Whatever it is you keep circling, keep almost-choosing, keep talking yourself out of — decide. Say it out loud. “That’s it.” And then take the flying leap. I’m already in the pool, smiling and cheering you on. You’ve got this.

With much love and great gratitude,

Tayne

P.S. If you know a woman that might need this conversation in her life, please share it.